Keanu Reeves categorically refuses to give Whoopi Goldberg a lifetime achievement award: \u201cShe\u2019s not a good person\u201d Keanu Reeves is one of the nicest, most genuine people in Hollywood. Whoopi Goldberg, on the other hand, was recently voted \u201cmost hated person\u201d in Tinsel Town, a distinction nobody seems to be able to refute.
\nReeves was chosen to present this year\u2019s Lifetime Achievement award by the TV Production Committee, a role he was honored to take on\u2026until he heard that he\u2019d have to share the stage and present the award to Whoopi Goldberg.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s not a nice person,\u201d said Reeves in a voice that almost sounded like he was addressing Rufus outside the Circle K, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be remembered as the guy who made that mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n
Justin Timberlake, Wynona Ryder, and Gloria Estefan also declined. They\u2019re still waiting to hear back from Jackie and Kelso, who desperately need something different to happen in their lives, but nobody seems to be able to find them.\u201cWe believe those two are probably in a ravine somewhere after losing their social media following to the worst apology video ever recorded,\u201d said Ravine Captain Joe Barron of the 136th Marine Paralegal Unit, \u201cWe\u2019re just gonna start here in LA and go from ravine to ravine until we find them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Others believe that they may also be in a shallower thing, such as a ditch or even a puddle, but everyone agrees they are likely dead from embarrassment, joining their careers. Topher Grace was unavailable for comment, once again leaving his dignity intact.<\/p>\n